A Letter To My Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

We haven’t even met yet and I’m mad at you. Impressive.

But when you do finally read this, you’ll already know I’m an open book. So let’s dive right in. We’ve wasted enough time.

I’m mad that…

I’m writing this letter on a plane to Paris without you.

I’m mad that…

You didn’t get to see me naked when I was in my twenties

(your loss actually).

I’m mad that…

I had to date a bunch of duds.

I’m mad that…

You didn’t get to meet my dad.

I’m mad that…

I spent $5,000 on a dating coach and you still didn’t show.

I’m mad that…

I’m 90% certain you were hit by a bus.

I’m mad that…

I go to bed alone.

I’m mad that…

I have the biggest heart and no one to share it with.

I’m mad that…

We probably won’t be married for 50 or 60 years

(unless we discover the fountain of youth)

and I want as much time with you as possible.

I’m mad that…

People wonder what’s wrong with me

or assume I’m damaged.

I’m mad that…

I put on makeup every day hoping to meet you.

I’m mad that…

I worry about my eggs drying up.

I’m mad that…

I’ve read more than 40 relationship books

and still have no clue what I’m doing.

I’m mad that…

I don’t have someone to stroke my hair

or rub my back while I fall asleep.

I’m mad that…

People tell me I’m too picky.

I’m mad that…

I still have to go on awkward dates and

experience the hell that is dating in your thirties.

I’m mad that…

You probably won’t want to settle down in Memphis eventually.

I’m mad that…

I don’t have a family.

I’m mad that…

I work on self-development every day in order to be the best version of

myself for you and our relationship.

You don’t even have the decency to be around.

I’m mad that…

I’m the oldest one at the singles table

(ugh, why is there even a singles table to begin with?).

I’m mad that…

I don’t have a parter-in-crime.

I’m mad that…

I went my best friends’ weddings alone.

I’m mad that…

I’ve had my heart broken to pieces more times than I care to admit

and I’m scared it will eventually make me cynical and closed off.

I’m mad that…

I am on the most exciting journey of my life around the world

and you aren’t by my side.

I’m mad that…

I don’t have someone to look out

or care for me when I’m sick.

But I’m mostly mad that…

I have no idea where you are or if you’re coming at all.

Love,

Joelle

P.S. Please be worth the wait. I’m a good woman.

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12 thoughts on “A Letter To My Future Husband

  1. Dear Joelle,

    I hope today finds you in good cheer. I found this post to be absolutely enchanting. I am not easily surprised or moved but was so pleasantly tugged by how meaningful and authentic you describe your lovable frustration toward the absence of your future husband. I do not see myself as the romantic type, I do not know much on the subject at all, and my style is presented with a very low ‘grand gesture’ percentage probability but I do know this. My Grandfather was one of the toughest men I had ever had the honor of knowing; he taught me a great many things on principles of a man and what I needed to grow into in order to love and cherish someone when the day finally came (I’m still waiting ha)- Me being a child at the time, reacted with a subtle rolling of the eyes supplemented by a quiet “Ew gross”. I had Idea about what he was teaching me at the time but am so so blessed to clearly understand it more as I grew older. My Grandmother (Grandpa’s wife lol) fell sick one day and I visited her in the hospital, My grandpa never left her side. Toward the end of her beautiful life, her strength began to evaporate and my Grandpa hung his head in sorrow for he knew what was about to happen. He was about to lose the only girl he would ever truly love with all his heart and mind and soul and spirit and body. He leaned over, kissed her one last time and Whispered “Goodbye life, my love, my home”. After she passed. I saw his entire world shatter with Nanna’s final breath. Granpa never saw another woman again until he also passed away a quite a number of years later. I learnt so much from those painful little moments. After you see the REAL, it’s absolutely impossible to settle for a plastic relationship isn’t it? I know how rare it is to find ‘The Meaningful’ in this life… & I truly hope to Heaven that you find your “beautiful meaning” as soon as he decides to emerge & pull the rug from under you with nothing but his charm.

    Much Love,
    Me…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is my truth. My reality. However, my experiences yave left me so jaded I’m convinced he does not exist and if he does I’m not for certain I care to meet him. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my singleness and not sure I want to risk you being another dud …snooze you lose buddy.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every time I started to have this conversation with myself I would remember back to something someone told me at a bible camp when I was 12 (even then I was obsessed with finding a mate). They said every minute you’re without him God is working on him to be a better spouse for you when you find each other. Not a religious person myself, it brought my comfort. You’re mad he’s not here for you BFs wedding, he’s sitting as the best man out there somewhere learning how much it sucks to be without you so that when you meet and you get invited to a wedding together he makes it a huge moment for you. That gave me comfort. And, sadly it doesn’t end there. One day you’ll meet him, and be so happy, but then you might realize your time is short. You could meet yours tomorrow and only have 40 years together, but mine might die at any point, and I only got to keep mine for 5 years… and who is to say your 40 years aren’t going to be far more amazing because he was ready to meet you and you him. Obviously you’ve gotten tons of advice in the books and people you’ve talked to, but what a poetic and amazing way to present your feelings. Thanks Joelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is never too late – I looked my best at 52 and still get plenty of admiring looks at my legs! Why don’t you get friends to introduce you to someone? I like men to be attractive but they have to make me laugh – all the way into bed!

    Liked by 1 person

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