I feel like I’m on a reality show. Not only am I abstaining from alcohol and dating for an entire year, but I’m traveling with 68 strangers.
And can I please just say that Remote Year by itself is a lot of pressure. A lot. So taking away my two go-to ways to destress has me freaking out.
…but I guess that is the point.
It isn’t moving to a new country every month, not knowing the language, or even having no clue which direction my apartment is that bothers me with Remote Year…it is the constant emotional drain on where I fit in this group. Or rather, where I don’t.
I want to focus on the fact that I’m living in Spain, which in and of itself is insanely cool, but lately I’ve found myself wondering why I don’t get invited to do things like everyone else seems to be. Am I no longer cool? Am I not interesting, fun or pretty? Do I just not make the cut for the “it” crowd?
I’m shy. I’ll admit it. But during my incessant reflections I’ve reached a startling (and unexpected) conclusion: I don’t really care if I don’t get invited to girls’ night or if my presence isn’t missed.
Oops, did I just admit that? Did I just say that out loud?
Everyone here is lovely and interesting and talented. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. And while I really am looking forward to deep and lasting friendships with my fellow Remotes (I’ve already met two sweet souls who I know will be a lifetime), that is not why I’m here. I am here to push myself, see the world, and further my career. But mainly, fall in love with myself and my life.
Friend drama, bars, and boys will prevent that (plus I already have an unbelievable tribe/support system back home). Which once again reaffirms my decision to detox and focus on self-development. (I can’t believe I’m saying this. I used to be the poster child for going out to the bars every night with my friends. Huh…I guess I really have grown tired of my own bullshit.)
Which brings me to the necessary parameters to keep my growth going:
1. No alcohol
2. No men
AKA no kissing, no dating, no touching, and no flirting via phone, social media, or email.
Allowed: mild flirtation in social situations with strangers (not friends or Remotes) so I don’t go insane.
3. Accept that I won’t be included in everything this year and that is OK
Easier said than done, but my journey is worth it and I don’t need to be sidetracked.
4. Walk away from toxic relationships/emotional vampires
Only positivity and kindness in my interactions.
So there it is…plain and simple. I’ve laid out the ground rules for the next year.
…and Day 2 is already done!