An Apology To Every Friend I’ve Bullied Into Cheating On Their Diet

Dear [insert probably every person I’m close to],

I’m sorry for not understanding why you couldn’t have dinner or drinks while you were on your diet. I also sincerely apologize for nagging/blowing up your phone/showing up at your doorstep with wine until you gave in.

Please understand that I love sitting down over dinner with a loved one and just talking and talking…and drinking and talking. This is my favorite thing to do ever. I consider it our bonding time, the equivalent of family dinner, and a personal affront when you say no.

Plus I’ve never been on a real diet before (well, one that has lasted more than a week…or hour), and now that the goals are set and I have my game face on,  I realize what a jerk I was. In my defense though, I loved y’all just the way you were and thought it was silly that you wanted to lose weight (I don’t necessarily choose my friends based on their looks, it just so happens they are all hotties). So maybe it is just the wisdom that comes with 30 (that sounds better than me simply being uninterested until I faced the same situation), but now I know how unappealing and nerve racking facing a restaurant menu/bar can be when you’re trying to be good.

In conclusion, I still want to see you. If you’re up for a walk on the greenline, I’m your girl! If you want to eat a Lean Cuisine or protein shake, come on by for dinner! Just please don’t make me go out…we all know I have the will power of a 5 year old. And I’ve got to fit in my wardrobe once again…the black sweatpants are getting old.


Joelle Pittman, food lover
Joelle Pittman, food lover

Originally posted to (my former blog) on April 29, 2015


3 thoughts on “An Apology To Every Friend I’ve Bullied Into Cheating On Their Diet

  1. this fauxpology is the sorry-for-not-sorry type.
    well u look stunning and no need for diet so i can imagine how the ”friends” feel


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